Riot Reviews The Week
Sam Sykes ~ 06/07/2025
The first week of June was a wild one. I’m not the biggest fan of “week in review” style articles, but this week was too interesting to focus on just one thing. I could, of course, write an entire article about the breakup of the century, but every candy-ass publication is obsessing over JD Vance's parents separating so we’ll just touch on it briefly.
The Trump-Musk Breakup
Who gets the family bible? This was one of the funniest, weirdest, and potentially serious things that has happened in a long time. Those two guys are the only ones who could turn a budget disagreement into personal attacks almost immediately. It’s weird because they are both kind of right and kind of wrong, but explosive nonetheless. Unfortunately, this means JD Vance (who loves both these guys a lot) is going to get dragged to court to decide if he wants to live with mommy or daddy. At least he gets two Christmases now, even if it is spent with Trump’s cunty new wife and Elon’s abusive husband.
Trevor Bauer
Once one of the best pitchers in Major League Baseball, Trevor Bauer, 34, has been out of the league for the last four years as he battles sexual assault allegations. This week, the first woman to accuse him has finally been exposed and forced to pay Bauer a measly 300 thousand dollars to cover some of his legal fees. This is nothing compared to the roughly $400 million he has potentially lost from his league suspension and ouster. He has been relegated to playing in Japan’s Nippon League awaiting a chance to return to Major League Baseball. This didn’t make huge headlines this week, but it could be one of the first dominos to fall in pursuit of real accusations and not just money grabs.
Aaron Rodgers
The beta nerds at ESPN and other sporting news sites fucking hate ol’ A-Rod. I guess it’s his free-thinking and free-wheeling spirit while never playing the same bullshit games all athletes are expected to play, but these writers hang onto every word he says and rip him apart. This week he finally signed a long-rumored deal with the Pittsburgh Steelers and the media has spared no time completely ripping the deal. “He’s old”, “He sucks”, “He’s gonna make a good team bad”, “This will be a disappointing year”, and “He’s not committed” are just a few of the talking points consistently regurgitated this week. I have faith in the old man, and I think he won’t just have an average year, but a great year. Lots of touchdowns, quite a few interceptions, and a shit-ton of winning. People forget that New York is where quarterbacks go to die (Darnold, Geno, and mark my words, Wilson) and Rodgers made it out of there with numbers that were not too shabby. It’s a good year to be a Steelers fan.
The USNS Harvey Milk
This week, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth ordered that the Navy ship USNS Harvey Milk be renamed to reflect a more intimidating and warrior oriented culture. Harvey Milk was undeniably an effective gay rights activist who was brutally murdered by a colleague Dan White. His talent as an organizer in San Francisco was evident and his murder was completely unjust and wrong. What’s even worse is that Dan White’s insanity plea led to his double murder being reduced to a manslaughter charge serving only five years. While we can acknowledge Milk’s abilities and condone his murder til the cows come home, we should all agree that he should not be the naming inspiration for a warship. He was a politician that fell victim to a horrible tragedy, but was not the tough as nails, and hardcore person we want our military to be representing. We have guys like George Washington and Theodore Roosevelt who have had many ships named after them because they represent the tough warrior spirit needed to cultivate a strong military culture. Of course the move to remove Milk’s name has been panned by every media outlet out there, but they are missing the point. We need to get back to promoting ruggedness in our soldiers, not activism.
