Markers Of A Pussy Pt.1
Sam Sykes ~ 04/18/2025
Everything is so pussified right now. Where are the swashbuckling badasses of the 80s skiing without helmets, ripping down a mountain with pit vipers and jeans? Let’s all go to therapy and tell some spinster about the mundane problems plaguing our lives. “My dad is mean” “My dog is getting chemo” “I have trouble with motivation” “Women don’t like me”. You know all things a 50-year-old slut and mental patient can help with. I made a list of a few things we need to attack to reclaim a semblance of masculinity.
Helmets
If you’re riding a motorcycle, I guess it’s fine to wear a helmet, even if it means just suffering while in and out of comas for a week or two before you croak instead of dying from blunt force trauma on site. But like most “safety” measures, the culture of bicycle helmets is just embarrassing and lame. They will argue that in the event of an accident it could provide life-saving protection but that is simply not true. Amsterdam is Mecca to the casual biker, and while helmets are rare there, they have incredibly low rates of injury and accident. They simply monitor and enforce strict speed limits. It completely destroys the need for head protection when you force the cycle-douches to slow the fuck down.
A grown man riding on a running trail at 8mph is wearing a helmet for one reason, and one reason only. To signal to other men that he is available for sex… as a bottom.
Crypto
Crypto is just the get-rich-quick scheme of our generation. Getting wealthy overnight is a illusion created by pump-and-dump bros that take the cash and fuck off to Dubai. These guys manipulate the currency and create huge spikes showing everyone how you could have made millions off of just a couple hundred dollars invested. Suckers everywhere see the spikes and wonder “what if” with the potential life-changing fortune they just missed. Crypto is almost as lame as gambling and sports betting, but worse. People CAN win a parlay, but really no one can win at day trading memecoins. It’s fucking stupid.
Rescue Dads
Whatever, I guess I’m a dog hater. I believe all people are equal and all that crap, but when it comes to dogs, I’m the biggest canine-racist there ever was. Like the David Duke of puppies. I hate rescues. “They’re just like purebreds”, but way fucking worse.
Seeing as I can’t go a week without bringing dogs up, I thought that was worth saying. Anyways, men that believe the whole “adopt don’t shop” thing are faux-tough guys searching for any semblance of a coherent identity. They become rescue dads proudly, because the best thing you can be in the modern west is a person that has a personal relationship with perceived hardship. A guy that rescues a dog to appease girlfriend is someone I can have some sympathy for, but a single guy that rescues a dog is just weird. Single men should be constantly on the go and preoccupied with work and “play”. Not leaving the bar early so he can go clean up some of his mutt’s shit.
Managers
The bane of the modern masculity’s existence, middle management is the fucking worst. I’m leaving the C-suite cronies out of this bunch because although they are morally corrupt, at least they are aggressive and competitive with one another. I’m talking about the retard two levels or so above the bottom. The main focus of a middle manager's job is to make as little impact as possible on everyone around you while mastering the art of the spin. As long as they can highlight their successes and throw low-level workers under the bus when shit goes sideways, they will have a long and successful career. It’s not for an independent-thinking man with strong morals, but a fat dude with a couple of whore daughters.
TO BE CONTINUED…
