FROM THE COUCH XXVII
Mike Leitao ~ 12/16/2025
Magic 8 ball. Octagons. Other shit that involves the number 8. Anyways, on to the article.
Falcons vs Buccaneers:
Are the Buccaneers not good? Ever since they got Tom Brady and then Baker Mayfield they have actually seemed like a competent team in the NFC, but this season that is not the case. Injuries have certainly fucked them, but losing a game at home to the bum Falcons and letting Kyle Pitts own you is a bad look, and at 7-7 and tied with the Panthers for first in the division this team looks less and less like a real threat with each passing week. Also, Kyle Pitts is the GOAT.
Browns vs Bears:
I gave Sanders his props last week in a game he looked good in. Time to keep being honest, this dude looks like shit 85% of the time he is playing. I understand the offense is really bad, but all I ever see him doing is holding the ball for way too long and either throwing picks/incompletions or taking sacks. He makes 1 or 2 really good throws a week and for some reason that seems to offset all of his other throws that were shit. Sanders will probably get at least one full season next year to prove that he could be that guy, but all things considered I would bet everything I own that he will be out of the league within the next couple of seasons.
Ravens vs Bengals:
AFC North matchups used to be exciting. Now they just really suck. The Ravens dominated and are the only team in that division that I think could even win a playoff game, but they will need to pass the Steelers for that to happen. Burrow played like shit, which after his comments last week about not having fun while playing and lowkey hinting at the potential of an early retirement, is not a good sign. Maybe he retires, maybe he wants to go to a new team, either way it's the Bengals so who really cares.
Jets vs Jaguars:
Trevor Lawrence may just in fact be that guy now. I know the Jets are a dumpster fire and that beating them is not impressive, but he has quietly put together a nice little season here. Ignoring the Titans, the AFC South has also quietly become a pretty good division with 3 teams that could do damage in the playoffs in all honesty.
Chargers vs Chiefs:
War is over. The Chiefs will not be in the playoffs for the first time in a long time. Mahomes also tore his ACL, so the offseason for this team is going to be very interesting. All things considered, Mahomes was actually still good this season, so determining what this team needs to get back to competing will be interesting, because you can argue that almost every position could use an upgrade, but that seems unlikely to happen.
Bills vs Patriots:
Banger of a game right here. Both teams going back and forth, one score is answered with another score, this was truly one of the better games of the year. The Bills get the win to remind everyone that they should still be feared and can win any game. The Patriots losing at home does sting for them, but they are still a great team that is also very young, so cannot be too upset with the result. What I know is a playoff rematch between these two teams would be welcome by all fans.
Commanders vs Giants:
No Jayden Daniels, No Malik Nabers, No Skattebo. That means no reason to watch two teams that will miss the playoffs that are also missing most of their exciting players. Commanders won, no one cares.
Raiders vs Eagles:
The Eagles dominated the Raiders to no one's surprise. This was a game the Eagles needed to not only win, but to dominate in, and they did just that. The Raiders are honestly probably the worst team in the league but are saved by the fact they have a few really good players that truly make the team seem better than they really are. The full scale rebuild coming hopeful next year will be exciting for those players to maybe get some damn help. Also Jalen Hurts is still a fraud.
Packers vs Broncos:
RIP to the Packers chances at a Super Bowl. Prized acquisition Micah Parsons went down with an injury and with it he took their chances at a Super Bowl. The Packers had started to look better after a slow start and in my mind were actually real contenders, but an injury of that size will ruin that for this season. Meanwhile Bo Nix had the opposite type of game, finally getting back on track to help establish the idea that this Broncos team really could win it all and people should not be surprised.
Lions vs Rams:
Two Banger games in 1 week? How blessed we must be. Similar to the Bills vs Patriots this was another exciting game full of scoring between two very good teams. A Rams win is huge as they look to hold the 1 seed, but losing Devonte Adams stings as they head into probably the biggest regular season game of the year versus the Seahawks. With a loss they will most likely end up as the 5 seed and not get a home playoff game. Meanwhile for the Lions, a loss is a huge sting as this team is struggling to get into the playoffs. Real NFL fans know the Lions in the playoffs is best for entertainment value, so here's to hoping they can string together the wins they need to make it.
Panthers vs Saints:
After the Buccaneers loss on Thursday, the Panthers had a clear path to the NFC South lead by beating the lowly and pathetic Saints. Should be easy. It was not. The Saints win and continue to prove why this division is an embarrassment. Yes, all NFL teams are flawed in some way, it's what keeps the games entertaining and the league balanced. The issue is that these NFC South contenders are overly flawed, meaning instead of watching them thinking this team could beat anyone on the right day, you sit there thinking this team could really lose to any team on any given Sunday. It's embarrassing and at least we know the 5 seed in the NFC will spank whatever sorry excuse of a football team ends up as the NFC South winner.
Colts vs Seahawks:
PHILIP RIVERS IS BACK IN THE NFL. INSTEAD OF BEING LOGICAL AND TAKING HIS HALL OF FAME SPOT, HE DECIDES FUCK ALL THAT I NEED MY NFL INSURANCE TO RESTART I HAVE TOO MANY DAMN KIDS. Yes, the Colts did lose and their season is practically over. But if we are honest, Rivers was nowhere near as bad as you might expect from someone who has been retired for almost 5 full years and was playing one of the best defenses in the league on one week's notice. I am not saying Rivers is going to revive the Colts season, but I think many of us (including myself) may have written him off too soon, there is a reason he will end up in the Hall of Fame.
Titans vs 49ers:
I just do not care about either of these teams enough to talk about them. Titans suck and lose, 49ers are actually underrated and win. Nothing was surprising or noteworthy, which with these two teams is also not shocking.
Vikings vs Cowboys:
Let me start by saying I don’t give a fuck that the Vikings have won a couple games and McCarthy looks decent. He is ass, he continues to show he has the ceiling of mid, and worst of all he is going to end up being the reason you will have to trade Justin Jefferson because your QB cannot figure out how to connect with one of the best receivers in the league. If you would have told me before the season started that in round 1 of the fantasy playoffs Justin Jefferson would be fully healthy and playing the worst defense in the league you would feel more comfortable with him on your bench, I would have called you crazy, yet here we are and that statement is fully true. Fuck 9, get his bitchass out of the league.
Dolphins vs Steelers:
I have a confession to make. As a Dolphins fan who knows multiple Steelers fans, I did not watch this game in full. I watched the first half, saw a lot of punts and watched Tua noodle arm an INT that was hilariously bad. After that boring half I just had to turn it off and do something productive with my life. The Steelers win, they continue on the path of 9-8 and the Dolphins lose, ending their season. I am sure in the offseason nothing will change. Sad.
