FROM THE COUCH XXIV
Mike Leitao ~ 11/19/2025
Man fuck an intro, we going to hop right into the incredibly valuable insight I provide since that is what matters.
Jets vs Patriots:
Isn’t crazy that just a few years ago this would have been a classic dogshit Thursday Night Football match up that no one would care about. Now, it is just a match up between two teams on completely different levels. The Jets continue to blow with no QB, they might as well be rolling with me in the backfield. Meanwhile it took Sir Fumbles to get hurt to finally let the Patriots use their ultra talented rookie running back to his full potential, because of course it did. Also, Drake Maye is better than Justin Herbert, more on that later.
Commanders vs Dolphins:
I am not saying that the Dolphins are going to win the Super Bowl, but they have been 3-1 since From The Couch Season 2 has started. With this small 4 game sample size we can confidently say Tua is the GOAT and the Dolphins are the clear Super Bowl favorites. Also the Commanders are still super boring and no one cares about them, maybe they should change their name to something controversial to get the media buzzing.
Panthers vs Falcons:
Don’t look now, but the Falcons have not won a game since October 13th. That is over a full month from now, and they are also missing their starting QB for the rest of the season most likely. Remember this team also does not have their first round pick after they traded it to the Rams during last year’s draft. This team has lots of potential to be incredibly bad and also not improve in the offseason, rough time to be a Falcons fan. Also the Panthers are 6-5 so that is cool I guess?
Buccaneers vs Bills:
Josh Allen decided it was time for his yearly “I am a God” game. 6 total TDs to single-handedly will his team to a win, and it was a big win at that. After a great showing against the Chiefs was followed by an embarrassing showing against the Dolphins, so a game versus a good team like the Buccaneers was a good test for them. Honestly, they weren’t good. This game was proof enough to me that this is the same old Bills that we have seen over and over again and this team will lose early in the playoffs again, most likely to the Chiefs.
Chargers vs Jaguars:
What have I been saying? No one cares about Justin “I am a Fraud” Herbert. Bro is so ass, saved by the fact he has an absolute smokeshow of a girl. I would take so many other QBs over this absolute overrated fraud. Most notably, I would take the true GOAT, aka Drake Maye, over his bum ass. Losing the Jaguars is embarrassing, getting outplayed by a QB who looks like a girl from behind is embarrassing, losing out on a huge opportunity to stay right there in the AFC West race is embarrassing.
Bears vs Vikings:
Watch out, somehow the Bears are the best team in the NFC North. It is not really due to some great play by Caleb Williams or the rest of the division sucking, it just kind of happened. The Bears are fine, but nothing special. Meanwhile, the Vikings blow. The Michigan merchant is clearly not a good NFL caliber QB and you can tell that the rest of the team is clearly impacted by his limited capabilities. The Vikings might be cooked for a hot minute, and I do not need to mention again the colossal mistake they made choosing McCarthy over Darnold.
49ers vs Cardinals:
Honestly my takeaways from this game was just that Brock Purdy being available in fantasy might save my team. 200 yard
Bengals vs Steelers:
Remember back in the day when these matchups would get the blood pumping because you knew these teams were going to kill each other? Yeah, that is gone. This was simply just a game between two old QBs that was not a beautiful part two to their classic a few weeks back. Old man Rodgers got hurt and somehow I just do not care at all. This was certainly a game that was played during week 11.
Texans vs Titans:
Two boring teams playing each other so you already know I did not watch this game and have no opinions on it and 3 TDs is a great return showing even though the Cardinals blow. I am not saying he is going to help lead this team to the playoffs or anything crazy, especially with Mac Jones honestly being decent. But Purdy is just a better version of Mac Jones, so the upgrade should help for the remainder of the season (or when he gets hurt again in a week or two).
Ravens vs Browns:
IT IS TIME, WE HAVE KNOW GOTTEN TO SEE THE GREATEST QB OF ALL TIME. HE FINALLY GOT HIS CHANCE TO SHINE, AND HE BALLED THE FUCK OUT. 4/16 PASSING FOR 47 YARDS AND AN INTERCEPTION WITH NO TOUCHDOWNS, TRULY ONE OF THE GREATEST OF ALL TIMES. Add on to that great performance that his home got robbed and this is certainly a debut for the ages no doubt.
Chiefs vs Broncos:
Are the Chiefs bad? It feels crazy to think that based on all the history of success they have shown but this team simply feels mid. The Broncos are a very good team and losing by only a field goal on the road is certainly not something to be embarrassed by, but sitting at 5-5 in a very tough division can not inspire confidence. They are looking like a wild card team at best which means multiple road playoff games most likely to reach another Super Bowl. The real question becomes that if the Chiefs fall early this year, are we looking at the end of a dynasty run? I don’t know and honestly they will probably still make the Super Bowl and this will be pointless.
Lions vs Eagles:
Who doesn’t love a good ol’ fashion defensive showdown between two NFC contenders? Me, I don’t. I want to see games ending 50-49 not 16-9. I love offense, it is the most enjoyable part of football. No one wants to watch lots of punts and turnovers, we want to see explosive plays that lead to points and excitement. Two teams with this much talent to only produce this many points does speak to how talented these teams are, but it also makes for a slightly boring Sunday Night Football game.
Cowboys vs Raiders:
The Cowboys get another primetime game against the shitty Raiders. I bet this game would have been great in the 80s, but of course it is 2025 now so that means nothing. However, I once again am unable to watch it because of this bullshit with ESPN and Disney or YouTubeTV or whoever it is. At this rate, they just need to get this shit fixed cause it's stupid and the longer it goes on the more time I am going to spend illegally watching the games.
