FROM THE COUCH XXIII
Mike Leitao ~ 11/11/2025
3 has been very important throughout history. The holy trinity, 3 is the magic number, triangles, all really important things. 3 is also about how long it takes to really either hit a stride or fall apart. When a TV show hits its third season or a movie hits its final in a trilogy, you normally know if it is destined for greatness or going to become a flop. Of course, this is episode three of season 2, so one could argue that this is make or break, or you could say next season is. I honestly don’t care, I think it is already safe to say this is the greatest series of all time, no questions asked.
Raiders vs Broncos:
Bo Nix absolutely cooked me, bro had a shit game and my fantasy team suffered. But they were playing the lowly, bum ass Raiders, so it did not matter. The Raiders are so bad, even with two superstars in Jeanty and Bowers the offense is so sad to watch and the defense is arguably worse. Unlike some other bad teams, the Raiders just feel stuck, in a brutally tough division with no real young pieces to be excited about for the future. Sad. Very sad.
Falcons vs Colts:
We have got to stop sending teams internationally like this. I know people love football but I just cannot be bothered to watch football at 9:30 am. The story of this game was that Michael Penix is actually kind of ass and Jonathan Taylor is not kind of ass. A QB whose name is so close to penis, it should have been obvious he would be mid at best. Taylor should 100% be in the MVP top 3 and there is a very far argument to say he deserves it as without him they are not one of the best teams in the AFC, they are maybe a fringe playoff team.
Ravens vs Vikings:
Continuing on the story of kind of ass young QBs, McCarthy is so bad. Losing a full year to injury blows and then losing even more time in year 2 is even worse, but he has been bad in the limited action we have seen. In four games we have 6 interceptions and only 5 TDs, add in the fact he only has 692 yards through that frame. We are talking about a dude averaging 1 TD, 1.5 interceptions, and 173 passing yards. That is easily a replaceable level QB, and the Vikings will be kicking themselves for ages for drafting him, then kicking themselves more for keeping him over Darnold. Also go Ravens, it will be fun to watch them try to fight for a playoff spot in a wild AFC after a rough start.
Saints vs Panthers:
If you watched this game you are either a Panthers or Saints fan or a fucking weirdo. I am not a Saints or Panthers fan (no comment on the other point) so I did not watch this game. The Saints won, which is embarrassing for the Panthers. They make no sense, they play well versus some good teams and look like maybe a playoff team then do some shit like this. Bring back Cam Newton.
Browns vs Jets:
See above point about the type of people who would watch this shit. At least they scored a decent bit, but honestly two dogshit teams that other than the tank bowl, no one should care about this game at all.
Patriots vs Buccaneers:
Potential Super Bowl matchup? Technically, yes it is possible. However, I do not think this will be happening. I have not been as impressed with the Buccaneers over the last few weeks, as I used to think they were a real contender but now I feel like they are just a good playoff team, nothing more. The Patriots though, they are a really good team. Drake Maye is the goat, greatest QB of all time, and very clearly has some Brady DNA in him. It feels unfair that a team that dominated for so long had such a small rebuild time while other teams have suffered for so long, but I like Drake Maye a lot so I don’t really care.
Giants vs Bears:
RIP Brian Daboll, gone but never forgotten. It took long enough, this man rode his 9-7-1 season to somehow keep his job for almost 3 full losing seasons. He was not good, this season is a L for the Giants, just keep Dart healthy and get a high pick to keep the rebuild. An offense with Dart, Nabers, and CTE man should be entertaining if nothing else. No one cares about the Bears, they are funny to make fun of when bad but when they are mid or above average it is kind of whatever honestly.
Bills vs Dolphins:
LETS GO DOLPHINS, THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT. THEY ARE GOING ON A RUN AND WINNING THE SUPER BOWL NO DOUBT IN MY MIND. JOSH “FRAUD” ALLEN IS NOT GOOD AND WILL ALWAYS BE WORSE THAN MAHOMES. Seriously though, how do you do what you did to the Chiefs last week and then get smacked by the Dolphins, that makes no sense and is why I stopped betting on football.
Jaguars vs Texans:
I watched this game and honestly I cannot tell you a single thing that happened in this game. I have sat here for a while just trying to jog my memory and nothing is coming back to me, because no one cares about these teams. I am like 75% sure Davis Mills had a rushing TD, but I am too lazy to check so I am just going to hope that is correct and move on.
Cardinals vs Seahawks:
The idea that Jacoby Brissett would give you a better chance to win games compared to Kyler Murray is so stupid. It is the type of decision that makes your drunk uncle think he could be a head coach. Obviously, the Cardinals got beaten by the Seahawks so badly that they basically only played 1 half of the game and still won by double the points. Sam Darnold vs Drake Maye could be our version of Manning vs Brady.
Rams vs 49ers:
The Rams are very good, they are a real NFC contender and I do not feel like I see anyone talking about them. They have a really good defense, a solid run game, and a great 1-2 punch at receiver. Stafford is in the MVP conversation and this team has a real shot at winning the NFC and possibly the Super Bowl. The matchup versus the Seahawks will be must watch TV to really get a sense for both teams. Also Matthew Stafford finally has a 0.500 in his career and this is year 17, man the Lions used to be really really bad.
Lions vs Commanders:
Speaking of the Lions, they are no longer bad. In the same way Bo Nix fucked my fantasy team, Gibbs saved it. The fact we had two games ending 44 - 22 this week is pretty crazy, and a lot of games this week all kind of felt the same, so I don’t think there is really anything worth talking about here.
Steelers vs Chargers:
Who in Pittsburgh has blackmail on the NFL, because why does this bum team get so many primetime games? As expected, Rodgers continued to be mid or worse as an old man at QB with no real weapons, and even with basically high schoolers on the offensive line the Chargers did what they needed to offensively while the Steelers were just bad. We still know they will be 9-8 to end the season, but this feels like a very sad and depressing 9-8.
Eagles vs Packers:
This ESPN versus Youtube TV shit is so annoying. Missing Monday Night Football because of it blows and missing a fun game between two NFC powerhouses pisses me off. I miss when everything was just available and not behind 130 different subscription services. I don’t care if it makes me sound old, bring back good ol’ fashion cable because I do not have the patience for all this shit. Anyways tush push merchants vs the biggest tush push haters is very funny, since I did not get to watch the game I hope the Eagles were able to run it on them like 10 times or more.
