Big Beautiful Bills
Mike Leitao ~ 05/28/2025
Big. Beautiful. Bill. It’s all the rage over the last week. The news has been constantly talking about it, what it does, what it doesn’t do, who likes it, who hates it, how it impacts you if it passes, how it impacts your one rich friend, everything. It is moving ever closer and closer to passing, but there have been many bills to make it to this stage that never see the light of day. In truth, being a bill is hard, you have to go through a lot just to become a real bill and even then you always run the risk of being killed off at any given moment. It got me thinking though, there have been a lot of bills throughout history and some have been good while others have been trash, so why not go through my top 5 bills of all time to shed some light on the wonderful bills throughout time.
5. Bill Russell:
RIP to one of the GOATs. Sure, during his playing years the league was quite a different place with basically no teams, meaning it was much easier to win, but it doesn’t change the fact that when it came to winning he was the best. Thirteen seasons in the league which at the time is a pretty good career length. Was an all-star every year but his rookie season. Won 5 MVP trophies over a span of 8 years and was either the MVP or second in voting in 7 of those 8 years. Of course, what he is most well known for is being the undisputed king of winning. Even though nobody really has him in the goat conversation in basketball history, he was pretty damn good and is underrated simply because of the era he played in. Over 13 years, he won 11 championships. 85% of his seasons ended with a championship. He won 8 titles in a row. There are people out there who might’ve gone through all of high school and all of college and never seen a different team win the NBA championship, talk about domination. Sure, the team was stacked, but those MVP numbers show you who was leading that team. One of the earliest great Bills of all time.
4. Bill Murray:
One of comedy’s best, the man is a certified GOAT of actors for hilarious movies. He of course got started on Saturday Night Live where his talent shined bright and resulted in great media attention and growth in his popularity along with an Emmy to really put him on the map. He made his way to the acting world successfully with movies like Meatballs, which was one of the highest grossing Canadian movies of all time thanks in large part to Bill Murray, and Caddyshack which was another successful movie that has almost a cult following. He is super well known for his success in the Ghostbuster movies as a main character and although those movies are good and very important to his success, Groundhog Day to me is the best. Starring in Groundhog Day was a huge break for Bill Murray as it helped him establish roles outside the comedy world which is crazy since Groundhog Day is still a comedic movie. The movie itself is widely treated as one of the best of the year it was released and one of the best comedies of all time and I agree wholeheartedly, it’s one of my personal favorite movies. Bill Murray is the reason for that as he was perfect in the role and for that he deserves a spot on the best Bill list.
3. Bill Belichick:
What a change in attitude, from the funny Bill Murray to the serious and depressing Bill Belichick. Sure, Belichick is an old man who some might see as bitter and no fun. But the truth is he was always a lowkey fun person and since leaving the Patriots he has shown more of that personality. It was always there though, from some jokes told that went over people’s heads because of delivery to him taking up Randy Moss’s Halloween party invitation of the utter shock and enjoyment of most fans and his own players. The personality is starting to shine through and I think it’s very overdue. Plus he’s got a banger of a girl even if she’s like 50 years younger than him it works out for everyone, she gets in to get the money and he gets a hot young woman to parade around. Bill Belichick isn’t stupid, he knows the play on her side and at his age, who cares? Putting aside personality, he’s also one of the greatest head coaches of all time. There will always be discussion on whether he carried Brady or Brady carried him but in truth, real fans know they were just a perfect combo together who helped each other tremendously. Bill Belichick would get the most out of players, making bad players look good, win in New England, then go get a bag somewhere else in free agency and immediately fall off. He’s probably more responsible for some players' money than their own agents. A few years ago Bill Belichick was fighting to make the list at 5 but the personality we’ve seen lately makes me feel good about him as a top 3 Bill.
2. Bill Nye:
The battle between spots one and two were tough for me, they are both Bills I just love so much. It was a battle between my childhood and nostalgia versus practicality and current day. In the end, current day won, but that’s a topic for later. When you were in school as a kid, the only thing better than recess was when the teacher turned off the lights and Bill Nye the Science Guy got turned on. The man is responsible for teaching an entire generation science lessons better than the teachers who were doing it full-time. Seriously, teachers were talking science everyday to us and one Bill Nye video had me gaining more knowledge. He was a perfect host, could teach and was clearly knowledgeable but leaned into the kid gimmick perfectly to actually make learning enjoyable. He was the GOAT of teaching children, many others tried in different subjects but none of them could match the success of the OG. Nowadays he’s trying to convince those same people he taught as kids what they can do to help save the planet, which is a noble cause. Most people my age don’t just know who Bill Nye is or remember parts of the show, they can probably recall the theme song to the show in the same pitch and tempo which just goes to show how huge of an impact he had on all of our childhoods. A man who is still trying to help the world and taught an entire generation science and they still remember him and his show? That is some legendary status shit and 100% worthy of being one of the greatest Bills of all time.
1. Bill Gates:
This is probably gonna come as a shock to a lot of people. Picking Bill Gates over some of the greatest sports names, one of the best comedy actors of all time, and a man who had an immense impact on our childhood? A wild take some might think. Well, if I made this list 10 years ago he would not have been first on this list, but it’s a different time than it was all those years ago. First off, when it comes to the ultra rich, Bill Gates is probably one of the better ones to like. He stays out of trouble and generally keeps to himself which I think most people would agree we would like more of the ultra wealthy to do. What he created with Microsoft is simply too important to my everyday life to overlook. Every weekday, I load up my Microsoft computer and do work in systems like Microsoft Excel and nowadays hop in and use Microsoft Copilot to help me from time to time. Microsoft is a huge part of my everyday life and without it I would be living in a very different world as would the rest of us. In my free time if I want to play video games I use my Microsoft Xbox to play games. It touches my life in so many different ways that it truthfully would feel wrong to not give the creator the top spot. I don’t know anywhere near as much about Bill Gates as the rest of the Bills on this list and even a decent amount not here, but what he created is more important to me than any science lesson, movie, or sporting world achievement, and that for me is a clear cut reason that he deserves the number 1 Bill spot.
Oh, you thought I was going to talk about political bills? Yeah, fuck that. I don’t even think I could name 5 political bills and who cares about that shit. Those things come and go and normally have such a low impact or something so hidden from us we don’t even know, compared to these Bills which have actually given us some of the best things in the world, so put some respect on the true Bills name. These are the real big beautiful Bills and I will hear no argument against that.
